Dumb sleepless night

I had like only 3 hrs of sleep. Its not that I want to have sleepless night but seriously.. I dunno why I just wake up out of a sudden feeling fearful. I'm feeling slightly better right now after so much yesterday.

I just couldnt stay home and look at all the things he once given me. LOOK.. I'm not that PRO like him when it comes to forgetting the memories. I can never forget and revert back to normal self after a night. I cried when I was out with the lovelies and that was because I just hate the whole thing. BUT.. the lovelies just continued making me laugh to the fullest with gab's jokes and Syl n lisa MOVIE and the night mahjong session which I lost. Everyone asked me to moved on and forget about him but I felt like telling them everytime that its hard to do it but I know everyone will hit me with a wooden stick to tell me that I'm dumb.

I just dun understand some things over this breakup. Why when a guy wants a girl so badly.. he was allowed to use ALL THE WORDS and actions he wants but when a girl wants a guy so badly.. not even a single word can manipulate anything but when a guy wants to leave a girl, just 1 WORD can work in the breakup but vice versa for a women. Some told me that he had it all planned since mths ago then.. why.. WHY can't my actions moved u at all? Imagine.. we were still cuddling and hitting each other just less than 24 hrs ago and then when u're ALONe.. u just emo.. for that single while and CONFIRMED what u wanted without even thinking about EVERYTHING including how I felt.

There might be a possibility that I'm not the one but isnt it so ironic when u always tell me how happy you were when we are doing all the funny things just days ago b4 the breakup. The ford focus car rides, Kungfu panda movie, you falling sick and the FOOTBALL mania!!

I actually bought a card for him yesterday but I left it at the coffee house. I guess its just fated.