Have been hearing Beauty and the Beast song for dunno how many times since Iz lend me his cd. I have been putting it on REPEAT mode since the day I realise that the cd have that music.
I have been a Beauty and the Beast fan since young. I always like that movie and I even caught the Disney on Ice when I'm 18 with my ex. I just love the story plot even till now. How I wish I'm in that fairy land with a happy ever after ending. Sigh!!
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST............................................
Anyway, yesterday was like a chill out session again with Mr Kooichi (bow low low). Being single is indeed good at times when u just feel like chilling with a guy or 2 guys or many many guys. NO ONE TO REPORT TO!! But.. I simply hate it when u have to walk that empty street all alone.. without anyone to complain how boring lesson was today and how happy my day was. I guess its really time for me to stand upright and be like a women. Enough of hoping and wishing and praying that the right guy will come.. cause I believe they will eventually come when the time is right. I dun wish to put in 10000 times effort and in the end get NOTHING but disappointment and anger.
RED CLIFF today with Iz and gang. Seriously cant wait to see that TAKASHI... my LAO GONG!! Hahahah! Erh... sch starting! Arhzz!!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
nightlife.sg
I have always wanted that cameraman to snap a photo of me everytime I saw him walking ard with that camera in the club. BUT.. never once he bothers about my attention for 4 yrs of my life.. TILL.. 05/07/08 when I was at MOS that he finally saw my existance.. when I was at MOS members with Lionel Koh. I was wearing a pink halter top and a faded blue jeans plus a pair of pumps. ITS like.. so NOT CLUBBING attire.. but still.. I felt so honoured having to take that photo with Lionel Koh.
Then.. I got like really high and started to slack ard members again with Mr Handsome Kooichi. The photographer came again.. and snap a photo of Mr Kooichi and ME and seriously.. I'm totally in love with this photo even though I look like an ACCESSORY on an Object. So gonna put it on my laptop wallpaper.. Tahahah!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Sick..
Tummy aches greeted me early in the morning today.. and to make things worst.. Mummy woke me up as early as 8.30am to tell me that she will be heading out and I'll have to do the household chores and hang the clothes out to dry. I drag my feet up at 9.30am just to do the hanging... and as soon as I have done that, the dark clouds came. GRR!! HOW SWAY!!
So yesterday was still no so bad. Manage to get my mind off those unhappy stuff. Was chatting with Kooichi online and we randomly agree to meet! Since daddy is out of town again, naughty me just take the car out to drive. Mummy was of course worried but I just kept ensuring her that its gonna be fine cause I'm a GOOD DRIVER! HAHAHA! And so I went to pick Kooichi up and then his fren and then we all head for dinner at thompson area. Drove down to AMK Ave 4 and it did indeed bring back some good old memories which I chose to laugh it out instead of tearing while driving pass.
After chilling, we pick Iz up and chill at Liquid kitchen with JJ! Its really a day of chill out session which I seriously enjoy it. I drove back alone.. and I PARK THE CAR successfully on my OWN! I swear it was an embarrassing sight having to move in n out of the lot so many times until I super pek chek. THANK god that there wasnt any car when I'm parking or else.. I will probably just ACT that I'm waiting for someone or something. STILL.. after about 5 tries.. I MADE IT! Funniest thing was.. mummy was actually WATCHING me park from upstair and she called me and congratulate and LAUGH at me after I made it. GRRR!! Yes.. that's my super bo liao mummy!!
Its finally Wed! He's coming back! Lots of things have been happening~ just pray that things will start to go on smoothly.. PLEASE!!!!
So yesterday was still no so bad. Manage to get my mind off those unhappy stuff. Was chatting with Kooichi online and we randomly agree to meet! Since daddy is out of town again, naughty me just take the car out to drive. Mummy was of course worried but I just kept ensuring her that its gonna be fine cause I'm a GOOD DRIVER! HAHAHA! And so I went to pick Kooichi up and then his fren and then we all head for dinner at thompson area. Drove down to AMK Ave 4 and it did indeed bring back some good old memories which I chose to laugh it out instead of tearing while driving pass.
After chilling, we pick Iz up and chill at Liquid kitchen with JJ! Its really a day of chill out session which I seriously enjoy it. I drove back alone.. and I PARK THE CAR successfully on my OWN! I swear it was an embarrassing sight having to move in n out of the lot so many times until I super pek chek. THANK god that there wasnt any car when I'm parking or else.. I will probably just ACT that I'm waiting for someone or something. STILL.. after about 5 tries.. I MADE IT! Funniest thing was.. mummy was actually WATCHING me park from upstair and she called me and congratulate and LAUGH at me after I made it. GRRR!! Yes.. that's my super bo liao mummy!!
Its finally Wed! He's coming back! Lots of things have been happening~ just pray that things will start to go on smoothly.. PLEASE!!!!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Random thoughts
I totally lose track of time. My appetite was so bad that I had only 5 spoonful of rice and I felt like vomiting. I guess the only smile I made today was when my student asked me some riddles. Even my little student felt something was wrong with me today.
My bed was the only place I wanna be as it will stop me thinking about anything for a moment. I looked at those materials you have gotten me.. and I teared. I looked at myself in the mirror and I felt like slapping myself really hard to wake up from DENIAL. I hate the word MOVING ON.. but I simply just have to. Like what Dre says.. the silliest thing to do is to heal a wound and opening it again!
Feeling is a mutual thing (quoted by dearest kooichi). Yes, I feel that I'm always the one on stage clapping enthusiastically alone and you're always in a far away place not even bothering about the loudness of the clap. Its always me thinking that its POSSIBLE and you're always having ur own thoughts without having me in your picture.
I hate it when I have to start my life afresh once again on my own. I gave my love life a 0 percent LIFE. I have no more mood to step into another relationship. I'm old enough to be played by anymore people. I feel like starting a family business selling clothes. I just feel like getting out of this country.. venturing into a new society where young boys wanna have fun will be eliminated from there.
I wont be smoking, drinking (that much) and dance ard like an idiot anymore. I'm happy with all the friends I have especially SONNY who never fails to pick up my call whenever I feel like shit. FOR THAT.. I WILL CRASH COURSE ON FRIDAY!!! AND.. there's this particular someone whom I cant say out his name.. but I really wanna thank you for being there too even though that means driving from one place to another and then back to other place and back to my place. I know it was a bestie frenly kinda gesture but I totally appreciate it alot. Thanks! And Lisa.. I know I know.. you're so worried about me. I also know that you will probably slap me real hard if u see me in this condition now... Thanks for walking with me through this shit.
I will be fine.. I really will!!
My bed was the only place I wanna be as it will stop me thinking about anything for a moment. I looked at those materials you have gotten me.. and I teared. I looked at myself in the mirror and I felt like slapping myself really hard to wake up from DENIAL. I hate the word MOVING ON.. but I simply just have to. Like what Dre says.. the silliest thing to do is to heal a wound and opening it again!
Feeling is a mutual thing (quoted by dearest kooichi). Yes, I feel that I'm always the one on stage clapping enthusiastically alone and you're always in a far away place not even bothering about the loudness of the clap. Its always me thinking that its POSSIBLE and you're always having ur own thoughts without having me in your picture.
I hate it when I have to start my life afresh once again on my own. I gave my love life a 0 percent LIFE. I have no more mood to step into another relationship. I'm old enough to be played by anymore people. I feel like starting a family business selling clothes. I just feel like getting out of this country.. venturing into a new society where young boys wanna have fun will be eliminated from there.
I wont be smoking, drinking (that much) and dance ard like an idiot anymore. I'm happy with all the friends I have especially SONNY who never fails to pick up my call whenever I feel like shit. FOR THAT.. I WILL CRASH COURSE ON FRIDAY!!! AND.. there's this particular someone whom I cant say out his name.. but I really wanna thank you for being there too even though that means driving from one place to another and then back to other place and back to my place. I know it was a bestie frenly kinda gesture but I totally appreciate it alot. Thanks! And Lisa.. I know I know.. you're so worried about me. I also know that you will probably slap me real hard if u see me in this condition now... Thanks for walking with me through this shit.
I will be fine.. I really will!!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Am I that Weak?
As I woke up today, I felt like a total loser. I cried as if a young kid has lost his/her smelly bolster or their favourite toy. I couldnt control my emotional. This is even worst than the breakup.
Many have told me to give up and dun even try to think about what had happen. But I doubt I could be that strong. There are like thousand and one questions in my head but there wasnt even 1 answers to any of the question. Why is loving someone and giving them everything wholeheartedly MEANS nothing? I didnt believe that that was the treatment I'm gonna received. All the cold messages and TAKE CARE and STUDY HARD kinda messages. Do you actually know how I felt when I READ THOSE MESSAGES! I was at Dian Xiao Er last night for dinner with my parents like FINALLY. They made a very sacastic remark saying that It was so long ago since we had a dinner with me. I smiled and then deep down in my heart.. I WASNT EVEN bothering about what they say but.. I was all thinking and staring at the seat where we sat the other time.. eating the roast duck. I ordered all the food that we used to order and when my sis commented that it was delicious.. and asked me how I got to know about these food.. I just SMILE and said.. I just love eating these when I'm here... and thats when I realise.. its always you that I'm having dian xiao er with.
I thought about all the happy moments.. how we book tickets for night movie.. the geylang trips for my fav. dim sum. The cheesecake cafe.. that we roam ard the streets in east coast to find that shop. I thought about the face u gave me for 10 mths.. the face that tells me u're the BESTEST baby I ever had.. and when I saw u again.. I thought I saw that familiar face.. but it ended all wrong again. Having to wake up the next morning with messages telling me you added alot of girls in facebook was like.. !!!!! I know I had no rights to comment anything.. but I just cannot believe that within a few hrs.. you just change like another person. All your words and action doesnt telly at all.
You kept telling me to live happily without the presence of you.. I WAS actually doing that.. but now I dun think I can. I'm really very tired of living sometimes. I hate being taken granted for the things that I have done. I can just do anything for you.. u should know that my love for you was genuine then why give me such unfair treatment?
WHY??? WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE SOMEONE LOVING ME JUST THE WAY I LOVED HIM. WHY I CANT JUST HAVE SOMEONE WHO DOTES ON ME JUST LIKE THE WAY I DOTE ON THEM? WHY I ALWAYS PUT MY LOVE ONE ON PIORITY BUT YET I'm ALWAYS THE LAST ON THEIR LIST? WHY AM I ALWAYS BULLIED BY YOU AND YET I STILL LOVE U SO MUCH! WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE THAT MAKE YOU FEEL THAT YOU STILL WANNA HAVE FUN AND CANT COMMIT! WHY IS IT WRONG TO LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH! JUST WHY!!!
When can I actually get a guy who loves me just the same as I do!! -DEAD-
Many have told me to give up and dun even try to think about what had happen. But I doubt I could be that strong. There are like thousand and one questions in my head but there wasnt even 1 answers to any of the question. Why is loving someone and giving them everything wholeheartedly MEANS nothing? I didnt believe that that was the treatment I'm gonna received. All the cold messages and TAKE CARE and STUDY HARD kinda messages. Do you actually know how I felt when I READ THOSE MESSAGES! I was at Dian Xiao Er last night for dinner with my parents like FINALLY. They made a very sacastic remark saying that It was so long ago since we had a dinner with me. I smiled and then deep down in my heart.. I WASNT EVEN bothering about what they say but.. I was all thinking and staring at the seat where we sat the other time.. eating the roast duck. I ordered all the food that we used to order and when my sis commented that it was delicious.. and asked me how I got to know about these food.. I just SMILE and said.. I just love eating these when I'm here... and thats when I realise.. its always you that I'm having dian xiao er with.
I thought about all the happy moments.. how we book tickets for night movie.. the geylang trips for my fav. dim sum. The cheesecake cafe.. that we roam ard the streets in east coast to find that shop. I thought about the face u gave me for 10 mths.. the face that tells me u're the BESTEST baby I ever had.. and when I saw u again.. I thought I saw that familiar face.. but it ended all wrong again. Having to wake up the next morning with messages telling me you added alot of girls in facebook was like.. !!!!! I know I had no rights to comment anything.. but I just cannot believe that within a few hrs.. you just change like another person. All your words and action doesnt telly at all.
You kept telling me to live happily without the presence of you.. I WAS actually doing that.. but now I dun think I can. I'm really very tired of living sometimes. I hate being taken granted for the things that I have done. I can just do anything for you.. u should know that my love for you was genuine then why give me such unfair treatment?
WHY??? WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE SOMEONE LOVING ME JUST THE WAY I LOVED HIM. WHY I CANT JUST HAVE SOMEONE WHO DOTES ON ME JUST LIKE THE WAY I DOTE ON THEM? WHY I ALWAYS PUT MY LOVE ONE ON PIORITY BUT YET I'm ALWAYS THE LAST ON THEIR LIST? WHY AM I ALWAYS BULLIED BY YOU AND YET I STILL LOVE U SO MUCH! WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE THAT MAKE YOU FEEL THAT YOU STILL WANNA HAVE FUN AND CANT COMMIT! WHY IS IT WRONG TO LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH! JUST WHY!!!
When can I actually get a guy who loves me just the same as I do!! -DEAD-
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Tra lala...
I have COMPLETED my accts assignments on my own. NOPE.. I didnt copy the answers ok!! HEHEHE! I accompanied my dearest Son for his classes last night. While he was listening to his Lecturers.. I was doing my ASSIGNMENTS! I must really admit that his class have so many chiobus lar.. and the best was.. being the FIRST person to see how he buaya girls in class.
While on my way home, I received a really SURPRISING call from Mr Him. I thought he had started his journey for his walk but he got the timing all wrong and its the next day that they set off. Sonny was with me when MR Him called.. and as the bus was NOISY and sonny was with me.. I had to hung up the phone for him to have his early rest.
And so.. met up with Kervin and Gabby for shopping session in town after sch. Well.. I bought a really cute top while waiting for the both of them. I guess I must have been waited everytime in my previous life.. I'm ALWAYS PUNCTUAL even though I took a bus and he took a car. HAHA! Went down to Gabby place for awhile while Iz called to jio me for drinking session at Grapevines. The company there was good and I must admit it was a great place to CHILL definitely.
Went back to Gabby's place to slack and left at 3 plus for supper with Mich, Syl and Keegay. What a Long FRIDAY right?
OH.. and guess what. AFter reading like so many times on that BLOG about the officer's gf. I CAME TO REALISE something!! That guy that passed on happen to be my Kindergarden cum primary sch fren whose mum was my mummy's good fren back then. We used to attend each other parties when we were younger and they were both smart boys. How queer it is to know more abt him through this blog after his death. STILL.. I feel for them.
OK! So whats up SATURDAY! Gheesh.. aint that sure too. Lunch with LK? Dbl 0 with Iz and rest?? JIAHUI's bday celebration at Pan Pac? Hm.. I'm confused!! I just wish.. you were here for me to RANT!
SCHOOL SCHOOL SCHOOL!!!!!!!!
While on my way home, I received a really SURPRISING call from Mr Him. I thought he had started his journey for his walk but he got the timing all wrong and its the next day that they set off. Sonny was with me when MR Him called.. and as the bus was NOISY and sonny was with me.. I had to hung up the phone for him to have his early rest.
And so.. met up with Kervin and Gabby for shopping session in town after sch. Well.. I bought a really cute top while waiting for the both of them. I guess I must have been waited everytime in my previous life.. I'm ALWAYS PUNCTUAL even though I took a bus and he took a car. HAHA! Went down to Gabby place for awhile while Iz called to jio me for drinking session at Grapevines. The company there was good and I must admit it was a great place to CHILL definitely.
Went back to Gabby's place to slack and left at 3 plus for supper with Mich, Syl and Keegay. What a Long FRIDAY right?
OH.. and guess what. AFter reading like so many times on that BLOG about the officer's gf. I CAME TO REALISE something!! That guy that passed on happen to be my Kindergarden cum primary sch fren whose mum was my mummy's good fren back then. We used to attend each other parties when we were younger and they were both smart boys. How queer it is to know more abt him through this blog after his death. STILL.. I feel for them.
OK! So whats up SATURDAY! Gheesh.. aint that sure too. Lunch with LK? Dbl 0 with Iz and rest?? JIAHUI's bday celebration at Pan Pac? Hm.. I'm confused!! I just wish.. you were here for me to RANT!
SCHOOL SCHOOL SCHOOL!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
A link to a sad bloggi
I bet you guys must have heard about that OCS guy who passed away during his training in Brunai. Oh god.. my dearest Meili actually send me a link to the gf's blog on how she cope her life after the death and stuff. I teared upon reading it.
READ
Their love life is like so sweet and wonderful and like HELLO.. they are like SO YOUNG lar!! They cherish the relationship so well.. but yet they have to be parted this way. I totally FEEL for them.
Its after this post that I realise.. everyone has a story to tell on their relationship. For my relationship, I realise that its never once a good ending and I have come to a conclusion that its partly my fault in jumping into it too fast. I'm just too impatient with the outcome and therefore it always fail in the end. I guess its really a time for me to really sit down and reflect on myself what essence I should produce for a good realtionship in the next one. Its time for me to SAVE MORE MONEY and have a better future!!
Tahahha! Sch today was -_-!! I nearly leave in the midst of the lecture but I try to endure it till the end. I bought loads of cookies with Van van when the lecture was ongoing. Was munching all along till the clock strikes 5pm. I guess I will put on 10kg if this were to carry on. Single Life in sch definitely ROX.. I'm now given the LICENSE to bio handsome guys and like what Van van says.. I'm so much more CHEERFUL.. no more "MY BF CANNOT BOOK OUT THIS WEEK" is heard from my mouth! Tee hehe! I must admit. I'm really have a carefree life now.. but.. I will only enjoy it when there's frens ard. It still sucks when I'm all alone in the bus or walking home without msging anyone to report that I'm HEADING HOME! Hm...
READ
Their love life is like so sweet and wonderful and like HELLO.. they are like SO YOUNG lar!! They cherish the relationship so well.. but yet they have to be parted this way. I totally FEEL for them.
Its after this post that I realise.. everyone has a story to tell on their relationship. For my relationship, I realise that its never once a good ending and I have come to a conclusion that its partly my fault in jumping into it too fast. I'm just too impatient with the outcome and therefore it always fail in the end. I guess its really a time for me to really sit down and reflect on myself what essence I should produce for a good realtionship in the next one. Its time for me to SAVE MORE MONEY and have a better future!!
Tahahha! Sch today was -_-!! I nearly leave in the midst of the lecture but I try to endure it till the end. I bought loads of cookies with Van van when the lecture was ongoing. Was munching all along till the clock strikes 5pm. I guess I will put on 10kg if this were to carry on. Single Life in sch definitely ROX.. I'm now given the LICENSE to bio handsome guys and like what Van van says.. I'm so much more CHEERFUL.. no more "MY BF CANNOT BOOK OUT THIS WEEK" is heard from my mouth! Tee hehe! I must admit. I'm really have a carefree life now.. but.. I will only enjoy it when there's frens ard. It still sucks when I'm all alone in the bus or walking home without msging anyone to report that I'm HEADING HOME! Hm...
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